I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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