I have demons in me.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
