is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
