She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
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Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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