he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
