What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I am one with the molecules
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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