therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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