8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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