I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
