the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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