This girl is more easily done than said...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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