It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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