STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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