I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
