There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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