i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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