I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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