Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
