Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
