brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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