so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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