you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
