I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
