i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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