Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
wow bdsm is so cute
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
