i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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