i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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