I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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