Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
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The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
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Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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