Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
