you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
