the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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