Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
What a dumb baby whore.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
