I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
