oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
