I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
