brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
love makes seman taste better
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
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