So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize