I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
