Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
