i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize