I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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