I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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