RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
