dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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