apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
