I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
