That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
