it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
