Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize