I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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