Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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