I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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