If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
