this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
this boner is exhausting
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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