Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
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I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
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You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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