I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
