i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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