If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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