I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
