He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
This house was built for laser tag.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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