I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
