She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
