everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
